mascara

I wear mascara all the time. Every day, all day. Often at night too. Have done for thirty years. 
Yes, this means that sometimes often I don’t take my mascara off at night. No, I haven’t died, gone blind, or destroyed my eyeballs. Even with waterproof mascara. And no, my eyelashes haven’t fallen out. They’re very healthy thank you, long and strong, plentiful though fine. I actually have to trim them, otherwise they get tangled up with the lenses on my glasses. Yes, for some people that is a problem. Don’t laugh, laughing at people is rude. Only non-people with no hearts and minds souls are mean like that.

 
You might ask why I use mascara at all. 

That would be a good question.

The answer is that I am ginger. My eyelashes are reddish-gold. They’re not as pale as they would be in a state of nature, because they’ve been painted with mascara and are often behind sunglasses so the actual individual lash-hairs rarely see the light of day. So, ginger. But while I am a cis-ginger and out and proud in many ginger ways, I’m also a trans-non-ginger (I nearly fell into the heteronormative orthodox sin of saying “normal”) in the lash department. My true inner self has dark lashes.

I’ve dyed my lashes in the past and might do so again in the future. Tinting lashes is a brilliant thing for saving yourself time and energy in the morning, compared to the ten minutes I spend on mascara-ing. (I would still need to do eyeliner, and I am a coward with a pathetic pain-tolerance threshhold so permanent eyeliner tatoos are not for me).

The problem with lash-dyeing is that it doesn’t last long on me, because my lashes grow fast. From past experience my lashes look fabulous for about ten days after the dye-job, then the roots start showing by the end of two weeks, and the new pale growth is at least half-way up the lashes by the end of three weeks. So as to keep lashes looking damn fine, I would have to dye them every two weeks. A tint is supposed to last on average six to eight weeks, so that tells you either how fast my lashes grow or how useless such statements on averages are.

I’d still do it every two weeks if it weren’t for the sad fact that a lash tint from a good reputable place, by a good reputable person (trained and properly paid), costs more than a tube of good mascara. Two lash tints a month = two tubes of good mascara (or one tube of crazy expensive insane stuff). Or four good cocktails. Or a comfortably indulgent quantity of artisanal local chocolates. You get my drift: it’s unaffordable.

So I keep lash tints for the next time I’m away on a genuine vacation for a week or so somewhere nice and sunny where I can abandon all makeup and all the time it takes up the better to frolick in water, become at one with waterfalls, and run around naked in tropical rainstroms.

In the meantime, while dreaming of my next mascara-free fantasy holiday, I use a good mascara. 

And try out other mascaras too in case I find a better one.

And never do find a better one than the one I’ve been using off and on for nearly a decade now. This stuff:


It’s been around for aeons. If its makers ever discontinue it–and they regularly threaten to do so, especially in Europe–there will be revolt. It’s one of their best-reviewed mascaras. Clinique, O Clinique: here is some evidence, from your own site for starters, for the greatness of the Naturally Glossy.

A selection of the newest and oldest reviews @clinique.com:

Above: the first page of clinique.com reviews, with the newest reviews first.

The last page of reviews, with the oldest reviews last.

It is Clinique’s top-rated mascara. Here are all of their mascaras in order of customer-review-rating, top-rated first:


Don’t just take the word of reviews on the company website. Here are the Clinique mascaras that at least 70% of MakeupAlley reviewers would buy again. A different ranking, but you can still feel the massive love:


It’s MakeupAlleyers’ 4th-highest rated Clinique mascara:


And it’s the runner-up for most popular Clinique mascara, behind a no. 1 with a much lower average rating and much greater variation / statistical distribution in its reception: 
I reviewed it myself on MUA a few years ago; I wouldn’t change much in my original review. Naturally Glossy is the old faithful I always go back to. It’s completely reliable. Easy and fast to use. Stays on all day. No flakes or smudges. Makes my lashes look and feel lovely. People ask me if I tint my lashes when I’m wearing this mascara, and I’ve had that question–and uncertainty–with no other mascara.




I have found no substitute: not for any single one of its attributes, not for the thing as a whole, and not for suitability to sensitive skin and eyes. I do not feel it, even if I leave it on all night (ex. when traveling I will often have mascara on for 24 hours, or 36, or longer…).

For a really tenacious natural-ish waterproof: HerbalLuxe vegan waterproof mascara or Urban Decay Canonball. (Both irritate my eyes at the moment, and in recent months, sadly.)

How does Naturally Glossy look in the bigger MakeupAlley picture? Context, comparison, and perspective are an important part of informed, rational, sound decision-making; and big independent reviewing sites like MakeupAlley are a vital source of the information–facts and arguments (and more, MUA being as it is one mofo of a big data set)–necessary for reasoned analysis. So here are MakeupAlley’s current best bets for mascara, not just raw but filtered for ratings of at least 4/5, 70%+ “yes I’d buy it again,” at least 10 reviews, and last reviewed at least in the last month. (To set more parameters for your own individual analysis and choice, get thee to MakeupAlley yourself!)

 


  

Happy eyelashes to everyone. Whatever you like to do with yours, and whatever your reasons. So long as you have reasons. Your own reasons. 
 

British Humanist Association: “Happy birthday wishes are in order for our Patron, Stephen Fry! Thank you for all your support for our work to promote understanding of Humanism and a fairer society for everyone, regardless of religion or belief.”

 

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